IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the countryside. This situation may bring some problems for the country as whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?

#years #countries #development #standards #areas #countryside #situation #country
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Due to
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 the mass economic
development
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 over the recent years, the living standards have upgraded in the urban
areas
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 but not so much in the outskirts.
Due to
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this
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, it may cause problems to the
country
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 as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
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.
Due to
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 the economic
development
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 in the urban
areas
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, historical monuments may be taken down so that the
country
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 could be more spacious or the land can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
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 to build new attractions. With
this
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 plan
implement
Wrong verb form
implemented
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 it will greatly affect the understanding of future generations as they are not given the opportunity to learn about the past of their
country
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 and they won't understand the hardship
people
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 went through for the
country
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. Another problem is overpopulation, as the urban
areas
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 are developed into a modern
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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, there will be more job opportunities with higher salaries compared to jobs in the
countryside
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.
Thus
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,
people
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 living in the
countryside
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 will relocate to the city.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 will lead to the market being highly competitive,
price
Correct article usage
the price
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 of food,
accommation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and many more will increase which leads to inflation.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are ways to balance
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of
people
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 living in urban
areas
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 and
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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. From my perspective, I believe that government should
also
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 have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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development
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 in the
countryside
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 as well.
Therefore
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,
people
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 living in the
countryside
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does
Change the verb form
do
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 not have to move to urban
areas
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, they won't have to travel far distance or leave their family members behind. Another possible solution is by making big corporation
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
expand their business in the
countryside
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.
This
Linking Words
 will boom the market prices in
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countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 and will have more job opportunities for the
people
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 living there. In conclusion, there are various
consequent
Replace the word
consequences
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 if there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 only economic
development
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 in the urban
areas
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.
This
Linking Words
 can lead the city to be overcrowded which
then
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 leads to competition. In my opinion, the best way to balance
this
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 is by making big corporation expand their business to the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sethinyta on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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