Media focusses on problems rather than development. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the topic of many citizens are
organized
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
to travel to rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, which has been a prevalent topic. And there are many
people
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
local individuals and the environment are benefits or drawbacks. In my perspective,
although
this
kind of activity has
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
degree of weaknesses, the profits
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks. It has been
suggest
Change the verb form
suggesting
suggested
show examples
that the
people
who come from endemic
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
will affect the natural environment and
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
pollution. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, there are many visitors through rubbish
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere and painting on buildings which is
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
of interest
due to
the historical constructions
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
damaged. After that, the street and famous scenery will probably become
certain
Change the adjective
certainly
show examples
crowded, when a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of individuals enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
remote
places
.
Lastly
, the
items
Change noun form
item's
items'
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
will
increase
sharply
due to
many visitors
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
to rural
places
, and the high price of goods will affect local
people
severe
Change the adjective
severely
show examples
.
However
, the benefits of tours visiting remote
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
are very obvious.
This
situation can help rural
places
to develop
market
Correct article usage
a market
show examples
economy and to promote the average standard of consumption, which is profit for state government and
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
improvement.
Besides
,
this
phenomenon can
increase
the focus of the local place of interest and make the
places
become hot and popular,
hence
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
huge
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
from
tickets
Change the noun form
ticket
show examples
consumption,
souvenirs
Change the noun form
souvenir
show examples
consumption and so on. A typical example is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
local citizens can use the reputation of famous
places
to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
goods to get big profit
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low cost.
Lastly
, local
people
can claim everyone should try
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
best to protect the natural environments and artificial buildings on the internet
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when many visitors play in these
places
. It is a useful method to protect the natural scenery. In conclusion, I believe the positive effects of
people
visiting rural
places
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh the drawbacks, it not only
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy developing but
also
protect
Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
show examples
natural landscapes
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
degree. The line chart compares the percentage
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
who are 65
years
old or more in
Japan
,
Swden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
and the
USA
over a period of 100
years
.
It is clear that
the ratio of elderly
people
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
over the period shown.
Japan
is expected to see the most dramatic rise in its elderly population. In 1940, 9% of Americans were over 65
years
old, which is higher than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two countries. Elder
people
continuously went up in the next
years
from the
USA
and Sweden and reached around 15% in 1990.
By contrast
,
Japan
’s proportion
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
for 3% and was the lowest amount at that time. The number of
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
began to rise constantly between 1990 and 2010. Between 2030 to 2040, a sharp
increase
in the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older in
Japan
is expected to see, jumping around 15% to 28% by 2040.
However
, the ratio of elderly citizens in the
Swden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
and the
USA
rise slightly in that time. By 2040, the figure for Sweden and the
USA
would be 25% and 23% respectively, which are slightly lower than that of
Japan
.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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