TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.

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In many parts of the world, people still work after their retirement age. Some argue that

this

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would help them to be stable both economically and psychologically,

while

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others say that they should spend their

last

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years of life with their

families

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages for the elderly still working.

To begin

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with, Elderly working is of great benefit to

families

Use synonyms

and wider societies. First of all, they become more independent

thus

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, creating less burden on

families

Use synonyms

and societies.

Besides

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, they pass on their experiences, skills, and knowledge to the younger workers. Some say that

this

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also

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concerns countries with problems of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

shortages.

For instance

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, in Japan, a major workforce is aged above 65. Employing

this

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age group will bring useful suggestions to the company

due to

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elderly people's experiences and exposures. Even though it benefits a lot, it

also

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has some disadvantages. One major drawback is employing the elderly will hinder the development of the talent of youngsters as fewer job opportunities are available for them.

Nevertheless

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this

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could be overcome by various organizations by increasing the availability of jobs.

Secondly

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, elder people would become less enthusiastic and energetic as they reach their late 60s or 70s leading to the loss of potential ability to cop with technological innovations and adaptations.

Lastly

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, since they are in the golden years of their life they should spend more time with their relatives and

families

Use synonyms

rather than having hectic schedules.

To conclude

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, the elderly contribution to the development of the country through their work even after retirement age has both negative

as well as

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positive sides.

simrangupta98115Sat Jul 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home .this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In the modern world. it is no longer neccesary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?