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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
The graphs show how much
water
Use synonyms
 was used in different countries and sectors in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the pie graph, the major part of world
water
Use synonyms
 use is occupied by agriculture.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see from the bar graph that there is a difference in
water
Use synonyms
 consumption between developing and developed nations. Regarding world
water
Use synonyms
 usage, agriculture accounted for 70%,
while
Linking Words
 domestic and industry usage consisted of 8% and 22% respectively. When it comes to consumption between the selected four states, it is noticeable that developing countries (China and India), consumed the major part of
water
Use synonyms
 (69% and 92% each) in agriculture.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, developed states (Canada and New Zealand) spent less in the same sector. In fact, Canada's agricultural use of
water
Use synonyms
 is roughly less than 10%. Another feature is that New Zealand's domestic sector usage was by far the highest, accounting for slightly less than half: an enormous ratio compared to the other nations.
Finally
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, China's industrial
water
Use synonyms
 consumption represented 80%, not a surprising number given that China is famous to be the Industry of the world.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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