IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agreee or disagree.

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Nowadays, children enjoy making their own decision. Kids enjoy the lavish lifestyle of less parental control activities.
This
Linking Words
 shall have both positive and negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
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 the healthy growth of
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
 future.
Freedom
Use synonyms
 is a greater pleasure the human being could ever wish
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
 Having
freedom
Use synonyms
 towards passion,talents and other leisure activities could benefit the future of
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
although
Linking Words
, it could hamper
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 many other ways.
For instance
Linking Words
, Elon
musk
Correct your spelling
Musk
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 who was
a
Correct article usage
the
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 son of
wealthy
Correct article usage
a wealthy
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 family
enjoyed
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoyed
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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financial aid from
family
Correct pronoun usage
his family
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 fortune grew up to be the richest person on earth from a recent survey. Both family members are equally responsible for
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
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 control of the young ones.
In addition
Linking Words
,many athletes, artists and professionals grew up enjoying the acceptance of their families toward their passion. It
activate
Change the verb form
activates
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 the child's ability to develop new skills and attribute
thus
Linking Words
,lead to
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
 development in the future. But in some cases, parents argue giving too much flexibility in
decisional-taking
Correct article usage
the decisional-taking
show examples
 mechanism is hampering the nature of children. Young ones who enjoy
this
Linking Words
 ability trends to develop bad habits.As we can understand that drug users are the ones who misused the trust put upon them in a destructive manner.
This
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 information is backed by surveys conducted in many drug treatment
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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. More cases like criminal activities are born
by
Change preposition
with
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 adequate
freedom
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 topic has been a topic of discussion
in
Change preposition
among
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 parents. Many argue
whereas
Linking Words
, many support the idea of
freedom
Use synonyms
. As studies were conducted on children, It conclude that it all depends on the relationship of trust built and support placed upon them. I could neither agree with the statement nor deny given many factors take place knowingly or unknowingly.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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