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Band 5

Some people think hosting major international sporting events brings a lot of advantages to a country, while others believe there are more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #events #country
The arguments about the results of being a homeowner to major international sporting events
such
 as the Olympics and other specific sports tournaments have been continuing. Some people claim that they bring some drawbacks much more than their benefits.
On the contrary
,
others
 do not agree with that
opinion
.In my estimation, sports
activites'
Correct your spelling
activities
 benefits are much more heavier than their negative results. People who support the
opinion
 which says hosting is not harmful ,
moreover
 it is very beneficial, claim that hosting has been affecting countries' economy
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 way.
This
 is partly
due to
 the audiences' tendency to spend money . I agree with that
opinion
 because the audiences of events have to find accommodation, transportation and food to eat and these needs are not free you have to pay for them.In order to
this
Add a missing verb
do this
show examples
, guests have to spend their money on our local stores.
On the other hand
,
others
 do not accept being a host's benefits because if a
country
 wants to be
homeowner
Add an article
a homeowner
show examples
 for a tournament the government should prepare suitable conditions.
Therefore
 the state ought to spend lots of money. I am against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
opinion
 because tournaments generally afford their cost with the guests' spending.
Moreover
, if they had not brought more than their costs, their permanent effects would have brought it. To clarify, it is a chance to increase the
country
's reputation.It means if the spectators are satisfied they would recommend the
country
 to
others
.
As a result
 of
this
, tourism incomes will experience a huge amount of increasing for a long process.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 World Cup 2020 was located in Brazil by FİFA.
Thus
 they got a chance to represent their culture and the
country
.
Hence
 their tourism rates had been increasing since World Cup. In conclusion, despite the fact that someone says tournaments bring fulfilling advantages
others
 say it is an appalling situation. It is certain that there are advantages and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both opinions.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I am on the side of supporters because of sports activities' short-term and long-term effects which ı have mentioned in the second and third paragraph
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • global standing
  • cultural exchange
  • urban development
  • infrastructure investment
  • tourism boost
  • job creation
  • financial strain
  • short-term benefits
  • displacement
  • gentrification
  • operational expenses
  • diplomatic opportunities
  • modernization
  • international community
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