IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

#feedback #evaluation #aspects #school #work #people #dislike
One of the most common and necessary
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 school and work are
feedback
 and
evaluation
, even though, many
people
 dislike being evaluated.
This
 environment is majorly
due to
 de-motivation and fear of judgement.
Hence
, the schools and companies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 must realize and fix these issues by maybe, making the grading arrangement less harsh or training teachers and leaders to be more polite. The major cause in be afraid about the
evaluation
 is related
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
judge
Add an article
the judge
show examples
.
People
 do not like somebody
judge
Fix the infinitive
to judge
show examples
 their knowledge.
The
Correct article usage
Second
show examples
second,
depending on the person speaking and how they speak, the
feedback
 and environment can turn the motivation down.
However
,
keeping
Change the verb form
to keep
show examples
people
 or just kids satisfied, it is important
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 teacher or leader
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
 trained and prepared to do that. It is important
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 kind with words, even though have some
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
feedback
 points.
Furthermore
, the speakers need to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good communication, so as not to be so harsh. Some kids already did or happened in the wrong way in the past, and, when they grew up, remember that as a fear . It is important to achieve the midway to that the
people
 leave from the
evaluation
 satisfied. In conclusion, the
evaluation
 is a tool to help
people
 to grow and bring some information about their development.
However
, even raters do
this
 job in the wrong way, without train or they do not know how to express some negative
feedback
. Unfortunately, it happen
since
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at school with kids, and up remembering it for a lifetime in fear.
Submitted by tatianakerches on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: