Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children enjoy making their own
Fix the agreement mistake
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. Kids enjoy the lavish lifestyle of less parental control activities.
shall have both positive and negative effects on the healthy growth of a child's future. freedom is a greater pressure than all human beings could ever wish for. Having privilege towards passion, talents, and other leisure could benefit the future of the child
, it could hamper it in many other ways.
For instance
, Elon Musk who was a son of a wealthy family and enjoyed financial aid from his family fortune grew up to be the richest person on earth,
according to
a recent survey. Both family members are equally responsible for the behaviour control of the younger ones.
In addition
, many athletes, artists and professionals grew up enjoying the acceptance of their family toward their person. it activates the child's ability to develop new skills and attributes
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Wrong verb form
thus leading
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to stable development in the future. But in some cases, parents argue giving too much flexibility in decision-making mechanisms is hampering the nature of children. Young ones who enjoy
ability tend to develop bad habits. As we can understand
Correct word choice
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drug users are the ones who
Wrong verb form
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the trust put upon them in destructive manners.
information is backed by surveys conducted in many drug treatment centres. More cases like criminal activities are born by adequate, power.
topic has been
discussion topic of
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discussed with
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parents. Many argue
many support the field of
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. As many studies were conducted on children, it concludes that it all depends on the relationship of trust built and support placed upon them. I would neither agree with the statement nor deny given many factors take place knowingly or unknowingly.
Submitted by praladpandey1144 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more focused and provide a clearer preview and summary of the essay.
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The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. The ideas are logically organized and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more precise and focused.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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