Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children enjoy making their own

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

. Kids enjoy the lavish lifestyle of less parental control activities.

This

shall have both positive and negative effects on the healthy growth of a child's future. freedom is a greater pressure than all human beings could ever wish for. Having privilege towards passion, talents, and other leisure could benefit the future of the child

although

, it could hamper it in many other ways.

For instance

, Elon Musk who was a son of a wealthy family and enjoyed financial aid from his family fortune grew up to be the richest person on earth,

according to

a recent survey. Both family members are equally responsible for the behaviour control of the younger ones.

In addition

, many athletes, artists and professionals grew up enjoying the acceptance of their family toward their person. it activates the child's ability to develop new skills and attributes

Rephrase

apply

show examples

thus

leads

Wrong verb form

thus leading

show examples

to stable development in the future. But in some cases, parents argue giving too much flexibility in decision-making mechanisms is hampering the nature of children. Young ones who enjoy

this

ability tend to develop bad habits. As we can understand

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

drug users are the ones who

misused

Wrong verb form

misuse

show examples

the trust put upon them in destructive manners.

this

information is backed by surveys conducted in many drug treatment centres. More cases like criminal activities are born by adequate, power.

This

topic has been

discussion topic of

Replace the word

discussed with

show examples

parents. Many argue

whereas

many support the field of

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

. As many studies were conducted on children, it concludes that it all depends on the relationship of trust built and support placed upon them. I would neither agree with the statement nor deny given many factors take place knowingly or unknowingly.

Submitted by praladpandey1144 on Fri Jun 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more focused and provide a clearer preview and summary of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. The ideas are logically organized and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more precise and focused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. Many others prefer to work for a small company first. What are the different advantages in each decision?

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In most countries people prefer to rent rather than buying them? Write advantage and disadvantages of renting home?

some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.They say that the only way to increase recyclingis for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?