Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

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Nowadays, children enjoy making their own

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

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. Kids enjoy the lavish lifestyle of less parental control activities.

This

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shall have both positive and negative effects on the healthy growth of a child's future. freedom is a greater pressure than all human beings could ever wish for. Having privilege towards passion, talents, and other leisure could benefit the future of the child

although

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, it could hamper it in many other ways.

For instance

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, Elon Musk who was a son of a wealthy family and enjoyed financial aid from his family fortune grew up to be the richest person on earth,

according to

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a recent survey. Both family members are equally responsible for the behaviour control of the younger ones.

In addition

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, many athletes, artists and professionals grew up enjoying the acceptance of their family toward their person. it activates the child's ability to develop new skills and attributes

Rephrase

apply

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thus

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leads

Wrong verb form

thus leading

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to stable development in the future. But in some cases, parents argue giving too much flexibility in decision-making mechanisms is hampering the nature of children. Young ones who enjoy

this

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ability tend to develop bad habits. As we can understand

that

Correct word choice

apply

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drug users are the ones who

misused

Wrong verb form

misuse

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the trust put upon them in destructive manners.

this

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information is backed by surveys conducted in many drug treatment centres. More cases like criminal activities are born by adequate, power.

This

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topic has been

discussion topic of

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discussed with

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parents. Many argue

whereas

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many support the field of

right

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rights

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. As many studies were conducted on children, it concludes that it all depends on the relationship of trust built and support placed upon them. I would neither agree with the statement nor deny given many factors take place knowingly or unknowingly.

Submitted by praladpandey1144 on Fri Jun 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more focused and provide a clearer preview and summary of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. The ideas are logically organized and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more precise and focused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to a local NGO (charity organization) and ask how you can join that organization. In your letter: •Introduce yourself •Why do you want to join the organization •How will your services help the society?

Living in Ankara is much cheaper than living in Istanbul. Do you agree or disagree?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

Many criminals resort back to crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes for this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

it is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. what are the causes and solutions