One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectanccy #ypu #development

In recent years, the advancement of medical care has been increasing the longevity of human

life

This

development can help

people

be capable to fulfil their wishes and spend more time with their beloved ones. Meanwhile, there is still a concern that

this

trend will create an ageing population with more heavy burdens put on the shoulder of the younger. From my perspective, the merits totally outweigh the demerits of an extended

life

. To commence with, long-lived citizens with good health guaranteed by medical improvement can have more opportunities to achieve their lifetime goals. Some achievements require

people

to commit their whole

life

, leading to many ones giving up soonly since their

life

doesn't

last

that long to wait until they thrive.

For example

, in Vietnam, numerous businesses which have been being incubated for decades just really take off until their founders are getting on,

due to

the lack of experience and funds of their younger selves.

Moreover

, expanded retirement

also

gives senior citizens more time nearby their near and dear ones to give and receive love. In Vietnam, it is proven that families with more than 3 generations tend to live in cosiness and happiness

as well as

receive admiration and appreciation from the community. One possible drawback of

this

trend can be, the increase of older

people

coming up with a lower rate of birth may cause a shortage of labour in many developed countries where the younger have to work more to carry the pension system for the elderly.

However

, I strongly believe that the development of medicine, health treatment and a balanced lifestyle not only prolongs

life

expectancy but

also

expands the working years,

thus

people

in ripe old age still can function and even make profits, sharing the economic responsibility with the young adults. Take Japan as a prime example, when the retirement age is delayed until nearly 70, so the elderly can dedicate more to their nation. In conclusion, more long-term targets accomplished and more time living with offspring an extended

life

span brings to us outweigh the wider generation disparity it causes.

Submitted by nhatducmo on Fri Jun 23 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that tha government is wasting money on tha art and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?