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Band 6

Many people choose to have a holiday in their own country rather than going overseas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of holidaying in your own country?

#people #holiday #country
A group of individuals does not prefer to go on a holiday to other destinations
instead
 of being in their own country. From my perspective,
this
 approach is totally wrong.
This
 essay will discuss whether going on a holiday in various parts of the world is beneficial or staying in your homeland. First of all, in the contemporary world, a lot of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 are big fans of travelling to distinct parts of the world. All of them find it excessively important and favourable.
For instance
, based on statistics, 45% of individuals are keen on doing it, and they can hardly live without travelling.
However
, others claim that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 travelling is a thing
that is
 auspicious as long as it is in place. More precisely, only during holidays or for celebrating. The primary advantage of travelling on holidays is discovering new cultures or recognizing new
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
. New cultures and
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
 can affect your lifestyle in fantastic ways. More accurately, it can change your opinions about life or your feelings.
Secondly
, even though there are several benefits of travelling, we can see some drawbacks.
For example
, many teenagers are likely to go abroad and face modern life or community. So, going to other places
instead
 of staying in your homeland can have a detrimental effect.
For instance
, some youths can be in danger or can use drugs abroad.
This
 type of thing is very hazardous for every individual's life not only for teenagers. In conclusion, I reckon that, despite all the drawbacks, travelling to various places on earth is superior for adults.
Nevertheless
, it can be dangerous for kids or teenagers, but with their parents, it is
also
 okay.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

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Introduction
Clarify your stance in the introduction for a stronger start.
Content
Ensure a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, matching the essay prompt's requirements.
Support
Use specific examples to support your points more effectively, increasing the relevance and impact of your arguments.
Relevance
For enhanced clarity, maintain focus on the advantages and disadvantages of holidaying in one's own country rather than comparing it with traveling abroad extensively.
Structure
Improve coherence by better structuring your paragraphs, ensuring each one focuses on a single main idea with clear support.
Cohesion
Work on a clearer thematic division between paragraphs for enhanced readability.
Engagement
You engaged with the topic and attempted to discuss both sides of the argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint, providing a closure to your discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • staycation
  • domestic tourism
  • cost-effective
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable tourism
  • national identity
  • culinary delights
  • heritage sites
  • unexplored gems
  • international understanding
  • cultural enrichment
  • local artisans
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

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