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Band 5

Living in a city is bad for health. To what extent, Do you agree?

#city #health
nowadays, Living in a
city
 is
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more important for everyone to earn money
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 why most of the family migrating themself from
rular
Correct your spelling
rural
 and small
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 to
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
. Earning money is the most important aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 moving
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
city
 to give
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life to their children. But other hand
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly feel living in a big
city
 leads to
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
firstly
, let's talk about how living in a
city
 is bad for
health
.
Due to
 day by day increasing population in a
city
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard to say
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 healthy for old age people or for
youngester
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
.
its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 has been seen that
due to
 rising population
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 variety of
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 increase
pollution
 like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
noise
pollution
,
air
Correct word choice
and air
show examples
pollution
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 are very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
health
.
for example
: there are 2 brothers Ram and Sham, Ram is living in a village surrounded by nature and eating
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet he
does't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 any bad
health
. on
Correct article usage
the otherhand
show examples
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, Sham is living in a
city
due to
pollution
 he is
suffring
Correct your spelling
suffering
various
Change preposition
from various
show examples
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 even no proper
dite
Correct your spelling
diet
 that will become more harmful for
sham
Correct your spelling
Sham
show examples
 in future.
secondly
, let's talk about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
living
Change preposition
of living
show examples
 in a
city
,
City
 gives all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people employment and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 their mental and physical
health
. More of
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
 opportunity to enhance their abilities.
city
 has
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
teconology
Correct your spelling
technology
such
 as
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
, police
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 etc. at
last
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to say yes
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 is nowadays bad for
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 but it can
solved
Change the verb form
be solved
solve
show examples
 by planting more trees. Less
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of privet motor vehicle use private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
. we are the responsible for
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 bad
health
 and we should take responsibility to make
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
.
Submitted by lizasingh1726 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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