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Band 7.5

Some people say that we should not be so dependent on computers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers
It is claimed by some experts that
people
 ought not to be dependent upon
computers
 too much. Personally, I think it is necessary to look at both sides of
this
 statement before forming an opinion. On the one hand, it is true that nowadays a majority of employees spend their
time
 sitting at their
computers
 some of them work during the day via
computers
, but most teenagers just waste their valuable
time
 playing computer
games
.
Moreover
, in present days it is a hard challenge to imagine a life without
computers
as well as
 laptops. These devices are part of the income of the companies. Thanks to these technologies
individuals
 are capable of doing some company work
such
 as reports or accounts. And
also
people
 amuse their day by playing various computer
games
. These
people
 are cyber-sportsmen. These kinds of
individuals
 earn money by playing online
games
 for their lives.
Hence
, they should play these
games
 more in order to get more experience.
On the other hand
, being so dependent on
computers
 has a plethora of adverse sides.
To begin
 with, the
individuals
, who spend more
time
 on
computers
 are able to hurt their eyes.
According to
 the scientists' words that the gadgets like
computers
 have strong laser ray, which influences
people
's eyesight,
as a consequence
people
 start wearing glasses in virtue of these devices.
Furthermore
,
computers
 not only hurt
individuals
' eyes but
also
 their backs. By sitting for a long
time
 in front of the
computers
 askew
people
 may injure their backs. In conclusion, I am convinced that it is not true to be so dependent on
computers
 owing to the fact that
individuals
' health is more relevant than money.
Submitted by mirazizmardonov4 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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