Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?

#people #behaviours #situations #age #peer #pressure

It has been seen that today’s generation is over-influenced by colleagues and

people

they are surrounded by in the same stage of their lives.

This

is a common issue in society today and

this

essay is totally in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the given point

Change preposition

apply

show examples

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. There are a lot more demerits to discuss than m merits. First of all, peer pressure can be devastating to the youth, especially in the financial aspect. Today, young

people

prefer to coping the fashion and lifestyle of others rather than great characteristics. Eventually, because of the 'Show Off Rat Race' individuals spend recklessly on unnecessary stuff.

For example

according to

the latest news on the internet, in India, the majority of

people

buy iPhones as a luxury symbol on a mortgage just to copy their rich friends.

Moreover

, not following the group can lead to loneliness and other psychological problems.

In other words

, research by Stanford

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

says that social pressure is real, not following the customs can part oneself from the society. To illustrate, the present incident in Japan is a great epitome of peer pressure.

According to

data in 2018, a 17-year-old boy committed suicide because he was poor and not able to celebrate his birthday like his friends and

also

being teased by

people

due to

that.

To conclude

, absorbing good qualities and positivity from the

people

you are surrounded by helps to enhance one’s productivity and motivation.

However

, it is important to understand the blink of ignorance and how to stop running behind a fake world and hurting ourselves for that.

Submitted by pateldhruvi038 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to have a more structured argument. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, making the argument easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can help.

task achievement

Ensure that examples are fully relevant and clearly explained. This will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task well, providing relevant examples to support the arguments made.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute effectively to the overall structure of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and provides clear ideas.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

As technology advances travelling to space is likely to become an option for Holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that students should be free to choose what they study in the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

5/2 Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?