Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?
It has been seen that today’s generation is over-influenced by colleagues and
people
they are surrounded by in the same stage of their lives. This
is a common issue in society today and this
essay is totally in favor
of the given point Change the spelling
favour
of
Change preposition
apply
you
. There are a lot more demerits to discuss than m merits.
First of all, peer pressure can be devastating to the youth, especially in the financial aspect. Today, young Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
prefer to coping the fashion and lifestyle of others rather than great characteristics. Eventually, because of the 'Show Off Rat Race' individuals spend recklessly on unnecessary stuff. For example
, according to
the latest news on the internet, in India, the majority of people
buy iPhones as a luxury symbol on a mortgage just to copy their rich friends.
Moreover
, not following the group can lead to loneliness and other psychological problems. In other words
, research by Stanford university
says that social pressure is real, not following the customs can part oneself from the society. To illustrate, the present incident in Japan is a great epitome of peer pressure. Capitalize word
University
According to
data in 2018, a 17-year-old boy committed suicide because he was poor and not able to celebrate his birthday like his friends and also
being teased by people
due to
that.
To conclude
, absorbing good qualities and positivity from the people
you are surrounded by helps to enhance one’s productivity and motivation. However
, it is important to understand the blink of ignorance and how to stop running behind a fake world and hurting ourselves for that.Submitted by pateldhruvi038 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a more structured argument. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, making the argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can help.
task achievement
Ensure that examples are fully relevant and clearly explained. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well, providing relevant examples to support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute effectively to the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and provides clear ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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