Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity? (Write 250 words.)
Childhood obesity is one of the most serious health problems today, especially in developed countries and developing countries.
This
problem has many negative effects on Linking Words
children
’s health and the government should be concerned about these issues. In my opinion, the government should control and release policies to reduce Use synonyms
this
problem.
Changing the consumer’s Linking Words
behavior
is one of the most significant reasons why Change the spelling
behaviour
children
are overweight in the present day. Use synonyms
Children
in the past usually ate healthy Use synonyms
food
and homemade Use synonyms
food
more than in recent times. Use synonyms
In contrast
, the new generation of young age typically eats junk Linking Words
foods
and ultra-process Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
such
as hamburgers, bakery, sausage, and red meat for a long time. Linking Words
As a result
, they will gain high energy from these unhealthy Linking Words
foods
and be overweight with diabetes in the future. So, the government should control the number of junk Use synonyms
food
in the school and support the Use synonyms
children
to consume healthy Use synonyms
food
.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, reducing Linking Words
exercise
is one of the main reasons why Use synonyms
children
have obesity in recent years because the sports complex or Use synonyms
exercise
areas are not nearly located in their houses. Use synonyms
For example
, I always ran around a park and attended yoga classes when I was a university student. After I graduated from the university in 2017, the nearest jogging park Linking Words
is
located a Wrong verb form
was
kilometer
from my house and Change the spelling
kilometre
does
not have any sports complex. Wrong verb form
did
As a result
, my weight is higher than in the past and I will be obese in the future. So, I should have a home Linking Words
exercise
schedule that can reduce the overweight’s risk in the future.
In conclusion, changes in consumer Use synonyms
behavior
and Change the spelling
behaviour
exercise
are the primary causes of Use synonyms
the
young age obesity in Correct article usage
apply
the
recent years and everyone should Correct article usage
apply
concerns
it by Change the verb form
concern
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
the
unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
foods
in Use synonyms
the
school and have their Correct article usage
apply
exercise
planning. Use synonyms
In addition
, the administration should support not only the measures in the schoolLinking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the infrastructure Linking Words
such
as parks and Linking Words
sport
Change the noun form
sports
centers
that everyone can use Change the spelling
centres
it
and have Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
good health.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task distinctly, specifying causes and measures separately to enhance clarity, e.g., under different paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to further enhance the flow of your essay. Slight re-organization of ideas might help.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider making the connection between every example you give and your main argument clearer to emphasize support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion which clearly states your opinion.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples promote better understanding of the points made.
Task Achievement
Successfully identifies primary causes, such as changing consumer behavior and lack of exercise, and how policies can tackle these causes.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...