One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

Traffic jams are one of the main issues
that is
happening in almost all major urban areas. In my opinion,
overall
bad experience from using public transportation is causing people to prefer using their own vehicle. To tackle
this
challenge, the government should invest more in improving public facilities.
This
essay will talk more deeply about the causes and possible solutions. Public transit is not attractive to most people because of many reasons, particularly in big cities in undeveloped countries.
First,
the number of fleets or trains available is not able to accommodate all of the users effectively, especially during rush hours.
Second,
the surrounding facilities inside the busses or trains and
also
the station are dirty and uncomfortable.
Furthermore
, the footpath for pedestrians is not proper, it is either too small or non-existent, making citizens more unwilling to use public vehicles. These difficulties could be solved by the government's willingness to improve the state of public transit. One of the solutions is to purchase more fleets or trains in good condition and do routine maintenance and clean-up for inside vehicles and stations.
This
would make the transit not over-crowded and make office workers at ease to clock in the morning.
Additionally
, the new and cleaner environment makes the commuters not worry about their health safety.
Lastly
, adequate pavement will be useful for any person to walk from one station to the other. In conclusion, the major cities' problem of traffic congestion is caused by the excessive amount of personal transportation and could be addressed by increasing the number of public vehicles, improving its cleanliness regularly, and building an appropriate sidewalk. In my opinion, when the comfort of passengers is considered, they may be willing to leave their private car at home.
Submitted by desyaf99 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure throughout. Your introduction and conclusion are solid, but the body paragraphs can be more coherently developed with clearer transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you have made an attempt to support your main points, aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. This could include citing statistics, specific incidents or studies that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well by discussing the causes and suggesting solutions to traffic congestion. However, ensure that each point you make is fully developed and contributes to a complete response.
task achievement
Your ideas are quite clear and mostly comprehensive, but try to delve deeper into the nuances of the issue. Elaborate more on why the problems exist and how exactly your solutions will address the problems. Add more sophistication to your argumentation.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to provide more relevant and specific examples to back up the points you make. Examples not only illustrate your claims better but also make your essay more persuasive and informative.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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