IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#people #impact #world #work #idea #“work-life #balance” #work-life #balance #minutes
Work-
life
balance
 means
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a
balance
 between your work and your
life
. Many people argue that
life
balance
 requires
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
life
 to enjoy more and live as a happy person.
While
, others think that if someone wants to increase his fingerprint for humanity, he should give himself completely to his carrier or to his passion. I completely accept
to act
Change the verb form
acting
show examples
 as a main actor in our
dailies
Replace the word
daily
show examples
 work because we have only one
life
 and we must try hard in order to expand our
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 humanity. On the one hand, normal people have
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
life
, eats, acts, and works
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal person
as well as
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes a
balance
 between the thing that
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want to do and
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
daily's
Change noun form
daily
show examples
rotin
Correct your spelling
routines
.
For example
, normal people work
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 6-8 hours per day to achieve a
sallary
Correct your spelling
salary
 for continuing
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
 and enjoying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
remainig
Correct your spelling
remainder
.
On the other hand
, the person who carries a very good message and wants to make a huge thing for human beings,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
needs to
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 seeds that benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others. And it is not
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
easy, it requires a human hardworking.
For instance
, if you become an actor in a movie, and you are one of the main actors, you should act
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a battle, and
instead
 of working 8 hours, you have to spend
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 of your time
to send
Change the verb form
sending
show examples
 your message properly. In conclusion, our lives
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 under our
dicisions
Correct your spelling
decisions
divisions
. We can choose a normal balanced
life
 and enjoy more in
life
 or forget
life-balnce
Correct your spelling
life balance
 and try hard, spends all of
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working to make seeds that benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans.
Submitted by bashdar.hussen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: