Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #sentences #alternatives

many people argued the best approach to decline

crime

activity rates was to extend the sentences,

while

others believed that are better solutions to mitigate

this

issue. In my opinion, the duration of punishment should consider what type of

crime

and the effectiveness ,not the duration. I will examine

this

notion in the following essay.

To begin

with, there are disadvantages to

this

notion from a different perspective, I disagree if the law system only focuses on duration.

Hence

, the court system should classify and categorise the

crime

base on weightiness. To what extent, do some states impose more time in prison to punish lawbreakers,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

it is not effective so much because they repeated it again in their communities to conduct criminal activities.

Moreover

, some prisoners tend to perform crimes again inside the prison because they are frustrated and though there is no way out.

On the other hand

, there are essential programs as the best solution to mitigate these challenges.

Firstly

, rather

Change preposition

than

show examples

make it longer, we how consider developing and fostering them with some specific skills

such

as welding so they will be able to be welders right after completing the punishment.

Therefore

, they are likely to be accepted in society and it was more effective in again the

crime

reoccur again. To illustrate, In Indonesia criminals are like pupils so they learn many skill skills and competencies, edit photoshop

for instance

, so they can master it and be able to gain jobs when they finished the punishment. In conclusion, I am convinced by extending the sentences could not address the case

due to

it is not effective and potential to back again to commit a

crime

Hence

, I firmly believe with an established system by providing training or new skills will assist them in the future and prevent them to conduct criminal activities in the future.

Submitted by darmasamuelhutajulu on Sun Jun 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people argue that the Olympic Games have significant benefits for the host country while others believe they are a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries.

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?