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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.
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The bar chart illustrates the
number
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 of downloading three program packages; ActiveX, Java and Net each
week
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during
Change preposition
for
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 5 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that ActiveX and Net program packages were the most and less popular applications among users respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, the amount of downloading these three programs had almost
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
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 trend in the whole
period
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. ActiveX
were
Change the verb form
was
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 downloaded about 70
times
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 in the first
week
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,
then
Linking Words
,
this
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number
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 increased to approximately 95 and 110
times
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 in the second and third weeks of
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period
Add an article
the period
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.
However
Linking Words
, we see a slight decrease in the
number
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 of its downloading to about 90
times
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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week
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 4 and
then
Linking Words
, we had a significant rise again to reach a peak of 125
times
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download
Fix the agreement mistake
downloads
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 in the
last
Linking Words
week
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. Java and Net were downloaded about 45 and 35times in the first
week
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 but the Java has become more popular among people and the
number
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 of its download witnessed a moderate rise until the end of the
period
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 to about 55, 60, 70 and 80 until the end of the
period
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 in each
week
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 respectively.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
number
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 of Net application downloading
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced a fall trend until the third
week
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 and
then
Linking Words
 it gained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popularity to 40 and 50
times
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 downloading in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week
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 4 and 5 in sequence.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, week, period, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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