A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In our modern era,
people
’s values
have significantly changed. While
some people
still follow traditional values
, I strongly believe people
’s judgments are based on each other’s money and wealth for two reasons.
First of all, many of our values
are determined by the society that we are living in. These days in almost all countries around the world
, those who have high social status or big accounts in the banks usually receive more respect and service from others. In fact, this
manner is getting done very legally. For example
, there is a huge difference between passengers of a plane who have business class tickets or
economic ones. The first one would enjoy a very comfortable seat all over his or her long tripCorrect word choice
and
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
being offered many expensive drinks and meals. In contrast
, those in economy parts should tolerate low back pain and neck pain due to
squeezed spaces. Therefore
, unconsciously, people
learn that person’s
worth is mostly dependent on wealth, and they could internalize Correct article usage
a person’s
this
value and judge others by that.
Another reason is psychological
effects of social media. Everybody Correct article usage
the psychological
almost
has an Instagram or a Facebook account and spends lots of time surfing the Internet. Most Rephrase
apply
people
, especially young ones, believe what they see and hear on these platforms. In this
world
, having more followers brings credit to individuals, and if they post something, thousands will like the post that might not have any valuable meaning. For example
, almost any post from Kim Kardashian gets the attention of millions of her followers, which implies the influence of this
person in the virtual world
. However
, this
phenomenon could insidiously affect the young generations in the real world
and change their basic criteria for judging people
, giving more value to the rich and famous ones. The algorithm that
could gradually change the core Correct pronoun usage
apply
values
of a society.
In conclusion, not only does society but also
social media plays
essential roles in changing Correct subject-verb agreement
play
people
’s values
. I strongly believe a person’s worth in our world
is determined by material possession
and high social status.Fix the agreement mistake
possessions
Submitted by Rosa on
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task response
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging opposing perspectives and offering counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the preceding one and that ideas are logically presented throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to eliminate errors and improve overall coherence.