A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#person #status #possessions #values #honor #kindness #trust

In our modern era,

people

’s

values

have significantly changed.

While

some

people

still follow traditional

values

, I strongly believe

people

’s judgments are based on each other’s money and wealth for two reasons. First of all, many of our

values

are determined by the society that we are living in. These days in almost all countries around the

world

, those who have high social status or big accounts in the banks usually receive more respect and service from others. In fact,

this

manner is getting done very legally.

For example

, there is a huge difference between passengers of a plane who have business class tickets

Correct word choice

and

show examples

economic ones. The first one would enjoy a very comfortable seat all over his or her long trip

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

being offered many expensive drinks and meals.

In contrast

, those in economy parts should tolerate low back pain and neck pain

due to

squeezed spaces.

Therefore

, unconsciously,

people

learn that

person’s

Correct article usage

a person’s

show examples

worth is mostly dependent on wealth, and they could internalize

this

value and judge others by that. Another reason is

psychological

Correct article usage

the psychological

show examples

effects of social media. Everybody

almost

Rephrase

apply

show examples

has an Instagram or a Facebook account and spends lots of time surfing the Internet. Most

people

, especially young ones, believe what they see and hear on these platforms. In

this

world

, having more followers brings credit to individuals, and if they post something, thousands will like the post that might not have any valuable meaning.

For example

, almost any post from Kim Kardashian gets the attention of millions of her followers, which implies the influence of

this

person in the virtual

world

However

this

phenomenon could insidiously affect the young generations in the real

world

and change their basic criteria for judging

people

, giving more value to the rich and famous ones. The algorithm

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could gradually change the core

values

of a society. In conclusion, not only does society but

also

social media

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

essential roles in changing

people

’s

values

. I strongly believe a person’s worth in our

world

is determined by material

possession

Fix the agreement mistake

possessions

show examples

and high social status.

Submitted by Rosa on Sun Jun 25 2023

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task response

Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging opposing perspectives and offering counterarguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the preceding one and that ideas are logically presented throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

grammatical range

Work on sentence structure and grammar to eliminate errors and improve overall coherence.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Million of dolllars are spent on space research every year.SOme peole argue that the money should be spent on improving live standards on teh earth

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.