IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is important to introduce tax education in secondary school. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give you opinion

#people #tax #education #school #waste #time
A bunch of people thinks that it is crucial to introduce
tax
education
 in secondary
school
.
While
also
, it is considered others how wasting valuable
school
 time to teach that thing. I will discuss each side in the following essay. As the introduction, everyone is free to expel their money to move freely everywhere.
Therefore
, they need to know about the
tax
 behind them. During adolescence, secondary schoolers sometimes desire to buy items of personal interest, even just for the sake of prestige. The more luxurious the goods,
such
 as Apple-branded gadgets,
for example
, the higher the
tax
.
Likewise
, when buying imported goods that look more stylish and prestigious. Through
this
 fact can be concluded that
this
 is why some people believe in the importance of
tax
education
 in their teenage years.
On the other hand
, many things are more critical than only about
tax
education
. For some people, schools should concentrate more on general financial
education
 to be included in their curriculum and training about desires handling from teens, even at early ages. In fact, in Indonesia, if you are in the social studies department (for high schoolers), you are taught about economics as a whole and about handling finances. In
this
 subject, students are
also
 taught about investments that can be made by teenagers from their age.
Although
 what is unfortunate is that those who are majoring in natural sciences need to learn
this
. In conclusion,
although
tax
 and finance
education
 is important, schools and
also
 government officials need to think about other things that are
also
 essential in everyday life to be included in the curriculum, especially in secondary
school
.
However
, I believe that we need to learn about finances and taxes from an early age, not only in secondary
school
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents both viewpoints clearly. Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and follows a clear progression of ideas. Try to strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: