The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives

Nowadays,

science

plays a crucial role in

any

Correct determiner usage

all

show examples

aspects of

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

life

. In

this

condition, some people claim that scientists are supposed to take the improvement of individuals’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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as their major goal. I totally agree with

this

sentiment. On the one hand, scientists in various fields have

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

saved

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

quantity of lives around the world. It is known to all that

science

is significant for preventing people from famine.

For instance

, Yuan Longping, an admirable Chinese agriculturist, was awarded World Food Price

due to

the effort of developing the Hybrid Rice. With

this

technique being introduced to other countries, food security was guaranteed and the quality of

local’s

Change noun form

local

show examples

life

was greatly improved.

Furthermore

, mankind should not ignore the importance that

science

has in human health. Scholars and doctors in

field

Add an article

the field

show examples

of medicine are developing new drugs and therapy to fight against cancer and other disease.

As a result

, there is no need for a number of families to experience relatives’ death

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

caused by illness.

On the other hand

, scientific research and experiments make advanced technology and incredible inventions possible, which bring huge convenience to humanity. Amount of time and money can be saved in citizens’ daily existence since the Internet has come to the world.

For example

, white-collar workers send e-mails with

attachment

Fix the agreement mistake

attachments

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of business documents and other details to their clients or colleagues

Change preposition

show examples

distance

Correct article usage

a distance

show examples

while

companies could only deliver information through

post

Add an article

the post

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office or

means

Correct word choice

other means

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of transportation back

Change preposition

show examples

last

Correct article usage

the last

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century. In conclusion, I believe that scientists should

put

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aim

of improving

Change preposition

to improve

show examples

mankind’s

life

priorly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. It is not only because

science

solves problems of agriculture and disease, but

also

gives citizens enormous convenience.

Submitted by NOON_1997007 on Mon Jun 26 2023

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grammar

Ensure you are consistently using correct grammar as there were a few instances of erroneous sentence structure. Sentences like 'scientists in various fields have had saved large quantity of...' need revision for better clarity.

vocabulary

Be mindful of word choice and vocabulary. Phrases like 'people from famine' and 'with attachment of business documents' could be better expressed as 'preventing famine' and 'attached business documents' respectively

article usage

Pay attention to the usage of articles. Incorrect usage can affect the coherence and flow of your essay. For example, correct 'an admirable Chinese agriculturist' to 'an admirable Chinese agricultural scientist'

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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