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Band 6

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artist should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #artist #alternative #sources
People have conflicting views on financial
support
 to creative
artists
such
 as painters and musicians should come from
governments
 or alternative
sources
. In my opinion, I would argue that
governments
 should fund their
artists
instead
 of alternative
sources
. There are various reasons why people assert that
artists
 should be funded by other
sources
.
Firstly
, government funds are mostly considered
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 used in critical matters
such
 as technology development in order to increase productivity in production or political issues.
Secondly
,
although
 investment in
art
 has been claimed as an essential matter,
art
 is somehow still claimed as the minority priority of a nation, the government should save their budget for vital problems and let alternatives sponsor creative
artists
.
Furthermore
, when private foundations
support
 creative
artists
 financially which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to develop
further
, they not only help the
artists
 but
also
 receive a good reputation which
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
 their organizations. In spite of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 opinions, I strongly believe that
artists
 should be funded by their government for some reasons that will be hereafter mentioned. Creative
artists
 are those playing essential roles in maintaining
as well as
 developing the
art
 culture of a nation.
For example
, In Busan - one of the biggest cities in Korea, a town called Gamcheon culture village which was renovated from an ordinary village into a cultural hub with the
support
 of
art
 students, professional
artists
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 turned into one of the most featured tourist attractions in Busan for its significant increase in tourism which has contributed large revenue to Korea's economy.
Consequently
, financial
support
 to creative
artists
 should be considered as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 win-win relationship between
governments
 and their
artirsts
Correct your spelling
artists
. If
governments
 hesitate to sponsor their
artists
, other foundations will do that which leads to the result of losing talents into private organizations. In conclusion, it would be great if there is any
support
 from other
sources
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
governments
 should be the main source to give their
artists
 financial
support
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial support
  • creative artists
  • painters
  • musicians
  • cultural heritage
  • economic pressures
  • public investment
  • national reputation
  • tourism
  • economic benefits
  • equal opportunities
  • diverse backgrounds
  • private funding
  • competitive
  • merit-based
  • taxpayers
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • sponsorships
  • grants
  • crowdfunding
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • commercially aware
  • self-sufficient
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