IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is an ongoing debate over the
evoultion
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evolution
 of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and its transformation in turning the
world
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 into a global village. It is often argued that these factors lead to the same identical lifestyles and behaviours in the future. I completely disagree with the statement because
although
Linking Words
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internet
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the internet
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 has confined everyone to its rules ,real life
do
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does
show examples
 not follow the same pattern.
To begin
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 with,
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internet
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the internet
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 has connected
people
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 from all over the
world
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, irrespective of their origin, gender and interest and
possibily
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possibly
emilnated
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emanated
 all borders for its users.
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Internet
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The Internet
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 has imposed its own language on
people
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 and gives them the code and conduct to follow it.
For example
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, everyone on
ocial
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social
 media follows the same community
guildlines
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guidelines
dictate
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dictated
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 by the
internet
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however
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, in real
lives
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life
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people
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 follow rules
according to
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 their culture, traditions and religions. To
illustrare
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illustrate
this
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 we can take
an
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the
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 example of
indivduals
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individuals
 who
belongs
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belong
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 to
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the muslim
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muslim
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Muslim
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 community. Muslims all over the
world
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follows
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follow
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 the same
guildlines
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guidelines
 dictated in their holy book and they do not get influenced by the
internet
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.
On the other hand
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,
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internet
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the internet
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 is perhaps the most visible part of globalization.
People
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 are now just a call and text away from families and close friends which was impossible in the past.
Moreover
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,
people
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 are now heavily dependent on
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Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 for their daily matters
such
Linking Words
has
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as
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 tracking locations, ordering food and cabs etc.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, after the COVID-19 pandemic,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has
revolutionized
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been revolutionized
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 and it has become easier for
people
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 to work from home with companies located all over the
world
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.
This
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 in turn great for
economic
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the economic
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benefits
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benefit
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 of the nations. In conclusion, to recapitulate, the aforementioned arguments, I would like to restate my perspective that
although
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 numerous advantages of the
internet
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, individuals have free minds and It will not
be changed
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change
show examples
 in the near or far future.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in a straightforward way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate ideas and make the essay easier to read.
General Writing
Check the spelling of words, as there are mistakes that can confuse readers.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument and gave examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global village
  • transform
  • homogenization
  • diversity
  • cultural identity
  • local markets
  • consumer behavior
  • global connectivity
  • social media
  • cultural movements
  • individuality
  • niche markets
  • interconnectedness
  • economic impact
  • information access
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