Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.
In modern society, the development of technology has altered how individuals interact with each other. I think
this
trend has both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, technological innovation has made our lives more convenient than before. Mobile phones and smartphones especially have changed our way of communication dramatically. For example
, by using mobile phone apps like LINE and Twitter , people can know their friends and family's news quickly and easily. Additionally
, they can do quick responses by putting a like button or leaving short comments. These applications have contributed to continuously keeping in touch with each other.
Moreover
, by using visual information such
as video clips and video chats, a wide variety of generations can watch and talk with their friends and families more smoothly and efficiently.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks to utilising these useful technologies. Firstly
, the more the public depends on these electronic devices, the less they may lose opportunities to interact with acquaintances physically. For instance
,in Japan TV news frequently reports that the rapid prevalence of video chatting during the COVID-19 disaster has reduced chances to eat out or drink with coworkers. This
phenomenon may be seen all over the world. Moreover
, e-mails or LINE communication can lead to misunderstandings. Without face-to-face expression, tiny nuances are hard to be conveyed, particularly in business scenes.
In conclusion, technological progress has altered the way of taking communication significantly. Although
there are some negative aspects including the possibility of miscommunication and losing physical contact, I believe that the convenience of keeping in contact with each other, anytime and anywhere can be also
due to
modern technology.Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on
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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of technological advancements in communication. However, try to expand on your points a bit more to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases to further strengthen the coherence and flow between your paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning 'LINE and Twitter' and the situation in Japan during the COVID-19 disaster.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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