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Band 6

wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resource. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resource
Some people believed that wild
animals
 must not exist in
this
 century.
Moreover
, they argue that keeping them is not beneficial. I
am completely disagree
Change the verb form
completely disagree
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 with
this
 opinion. On the one hand, every species have a right to live on
this
 planet.
Moreover
, there are humans that are
additional
Replace the word
added
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 to their life. So, it is crucial to pay attention to the
animals
 and keep them safe
as well as
 they are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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special friends to us.
Additionally
, all sources like water, food, jungles and so on should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
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 and be a safe place for both humans and
animals
.
On the other hand
, not only mankind's are not the masters of species to make a decision for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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creatures but
also
 they should be more gentle in front of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. All the people around the world are using gasoline and spreading co2 and no2 in the air which can damage and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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detrimental effects
in
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on
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humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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 and
animals
life
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lives
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during
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over
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 the years.
Furthermore
, by expanding the cities they have been starting to destroy forests in order to build houses and villas.
Besides
, they harm the
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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 environments and
destroys
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destroy
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 their houses for their own
benefits
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benefit
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. So, people should not
makes
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make
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 any
animals
such
 as wild
animals
 disappear from their natural chain to have their own earnings. In conclusion, I am completely against
this
 view because we don’t have a license to decide which kinds of
animals
 should be alive and which
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 should be extinct.
Hence
, I think it should be an obligation for anyone to keep all the creatures and our wonderful planet safe.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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