wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resource. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resource

Some people believed that wild

animals

must not exist in

this

century.

Moreover

, they argue that keeping them is not beneficial. I

am completely disagree

Change the verb form

completely disagree

show examples

with

this

opinion. On the one hand, every species have a right to live on

this

planet.

Moreover

, there are humans that are

additional

Replace the word

added

show examples

to their life. So, it is crucial to pay attention to the

animals

and keep them safe

as well as

they are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

special friends to us.

Additionally

, all sources like water, food, jungles and so on should

be spend

Change the verb form

be spent

be spending

show examples

and be a safe place for both humans and

animals

On the other hand

, not only mankind's are not the masters of species to make a decision for all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creatures but

also

they should be more gentle in front of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature. All the people around the world are using gasoline and spreading co2 and no2 in the air which can damage and have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental effects

Change preposition

show examples

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

and

animals

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

during

Change preposition

over

show examples

the years.

Furthermore

, by expanding the cities they have been starting to destroy forests in order to build houses and villas.

Besides

, they harm the

animals

Change to a genitive case

animal's

animals'

show examples

environments and

destroys

Correct subject-verb agreement

destroy

show examples

their houses for their own

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

. So, people should not

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

any

animals

such

as wild

animals

disappear from their natural chain to have their own earnings. In conclusion, I am completely against

this

view because we don’t have a license to decide which kinds of

animals

should be alive and which

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

should be extinct.

Hence

, I think it should be an obligation for anyone to keep all the creatures and our wonderful planet safe.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Mon Jun 26 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resource. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Education should be free to all people and should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associate with the internet and solutions can you suggest?