IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source #majority
In recent years there has been a vast increase in
people
 who read
news
 on the
Internet
 rather than in
newspapers
. In my opinion,
this
 has had a beneficial effect in several areas. First and foremost, on the
Internet
people
 can find the latest
news
 because they are posted straight away. Supporters of old methods would argue that
newspapers
 contain the most important information.
While
this
 may be true to some extent I would say that
newspapers
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 outdated and humans can read all sources of
news
 on the
Internet
 whether these occasions occurred today or several years ago. It
also
 means that it is more convenient to read them by using a smartphone rather than holding some papers in hand. If we used our gadgets to check the
news
, we would be glad to hold them in our pockets. In consequence, there is no necessity to carry a newspaper with you.
This
 brings me to my second point. It is sometimes said that elderly
people
 get used to buying
newspapers
 at their local markets and reading them at home because they do not know how to use the
Internet
.
This
 may be true.
However
, nowadays many elderly attempting to master gadgets. I would argue that my grandparents
also
 get involved in the modern world and watch all
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 on the
Internet
. If all
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 read
news
 online, they would not have to waste their money daily.
This
 can be seen by the fact that it is more spread to use the
Internet
.
To conclude
 from the aforementioned arguments, in modernised ,society
people
 should adapt there and as recent
news
 is published immediately online humans should read them there to be up to date on everything.
Submitted by Alua on

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task response
The introduction does not clearly present the writer's opinion on the given statement. The essay lacks a clear thesis statement that presents the writer's stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The points made are not well-organized and do not consistently support the writer's stance. The conclusion is abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates some variety in vocabulary and uses appropriate academic language. However, there are instances of awkward and unclear phrasing that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay shows some control of grammatical structures and demonstrates a range of sentence structures. However, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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