IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and culture background to a country get a faster development. To what extend do you agree??

#people #nationalities #culture #background #country #development
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In
this
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 concurrent world , some individuals argue that
people
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 from different countries and cultures
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more
benefit
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benefits
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in
Add a hyphen
in-country
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country
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 growth. In fact , I strongly agree with
this
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 point of view for two reasons. To commence with,
people
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 move to a new
country
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 for a good job and they give their 100 % in
this
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 job so
deffinitely
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definitely
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country
Correct article usage
the country
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 a good profit . Even though
asome
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some
 might argue that
a
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an
show examples
 other nationalities person take more benefit and do some fraud thing so
that is
Linking Words
 not a tolerable thing for
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country
Add an article
the country
show examples
,I
stil
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still
 believe that when any person
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new
country
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 so they have
good
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a good
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 opportunity for promotion and they get good salary and bonus so that time they worked very hard for their personal benefit
as well as
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country
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 increasing their economy .
Furthermore
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, a different
culture
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 person
have
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has
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 some experiences in their own
culture
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 and they apply that tricks and
things
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 in other
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 most of the time they get good
response
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responses
show examples
. To explain
it
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apply
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, when they try some new
things
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 with different
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
people
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 so they boost their knowledge and provide some new ideas and employed
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. They share their
culturel
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cultural
things
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,festival,traditional
things
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 and most important their
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 history so
people
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 are more familiar with them .
Moreover
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 , when two and more different
culture
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people
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 meet so they share
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
extra knowledge and it is good in many ways like they behave friendly and
help
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helps
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 each other.
Thus
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, it is proved that
that
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apply
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things
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 are very beneficial for
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country
Add an article
the country
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 economy and
developement
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development
.
To conclude
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, not only is it good for
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country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 , but
also
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 very useful for learning some new
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culture
Replace the word
cultural
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things
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 and
behaiviour
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behaviour
.
Submitted by shubhamsharma742589 on

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