IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and culture background to a country get a faster development. To what extend do you agree??

#people #nationalities #culture #background #country #development
In
this
 concurrent world , some individuals argue that
people
 from different countries and cultures
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
in
Add a hyphen
in-country
show examples
country
 growth. In fact , I strongly agree with
this
 point of view for two reasons. To commence with,
people
 move to a new
country
 for a good job and they give their 100 % in
this
 job so
deffinitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 a good profit . Even though
asome
Correct your spelling
some
 might argue that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 other nationalities person take more benefit and do some fraud thing so
that is
 not a tolerable thing for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
,I
stil
Correct your spelling
still
 believe that when any person
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new
country
 so they have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 opportunity for promotion and they get good salary and bonus so that time they worked very hard for their personal benefit
as well as
country
 increasing their economy .
Furthermore
, a different
culture
 person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some experiences in their own
culture
 and they apply that tricks and
things
 in other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 most of the time they get good
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
. To explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, when they try some new
things
 with different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
people
 so they boost their knowledge and provide some new ideas and employed
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. They share their
culturel
Correct your spelling
cultural
things
,festival,traditional
things
 and most important their
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 history so
people
 are more familiar with them .
Moreover
 , when two and more different
culture
people
 meet so they share
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
extra knowledge and it is good in many ways like they behave friendly and
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 each other.
Thus
, it is proved that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
things
 are very beneficial for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 economy and
developement
Correct your spelling
development
.
To conclude
, not only is it good for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 , but
also
 very useful for learning some new
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
things
 and
behaiviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
.
Submitted by shubhamsharma742589 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: