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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however only few acheive it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

#people #aim #balance #work #aspects #life #acheive
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In recent years, many people have tried
work
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-life
balance
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 but just a few of them have succeeded in achieving it.
work
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 pressure and lack of
time
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management
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skills
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 are the main problems for
this
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 issue and finding a flexible
work
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 environment and improving
time
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management
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 are the suitable solutions. The principal problem associated with trying to
balance
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job
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 duties and personal life is working under pressure,
in other words
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, people who
work
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 in difficult jobs, which require more effort can affect the employee's personal life, and they go back home with tired bodies and need more rest times, which prevent spending times with families and doing hobbies.
For example
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, doctors who
work
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 in on-call systems struggle to
balance
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 because they are forced to change their schedules frequently and
this
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 could increase families' problems. Another problem is that many employees do not have
time
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management
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skills
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.
Moreover
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, these
skills
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 a vital even if the natural
job
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 is comfortable because people need to control their daily tasks which results in gaining a long free
time
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. A viable solution to address
this
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 issue is to try to find different
job
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 opportunities, which provide flexible working hours.
This
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 can help because the person will have a chance to coordinate the deadline of duties, which could reduce
job
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 pressure and t achieve
balance
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. Another effective solution to deal with
this
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 is to improve
time
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management
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skills
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 which can be done by using utility tools
such
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 as to-do lists and digital organisers.
This
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 results in managing
time
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 the
balance
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 between
work
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 and other aspects of life is a problem caused by a difficult
work
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 environment and the lack of
skills
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 in
time
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management
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, finding alter suitable
job
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 and
time
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 planning can effectively address
this
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 issue.
Submitted by Hanan on

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Task Response
The introduction presents the topic and addresses both the problems and solutions, which is a strong point. However, you can further clarify the main problems by providing a bit more depth and examples, particularly in the first paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical progression of ideas throughout, which is excellent. You can enhance this further by using more varied linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
You have clearly identified two main problems and provided appropriate solutions, which shows you have understood and fully addressed the task.
Task Response
Excellent use of specific examples, such as the mention of doctors working in on-call systems, enriches your essay and provides concrete support for your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your argument is well-organized, with clear sections for the problems and solutions, making it easy for the reader to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a good flow throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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