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Writing Samples
Band 6

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend
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Today is the era of advanced science and
technology
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. In the
last
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 few years, it has grown rapidly and has brought significant impacts on all aspects of human life. Specifically,
children
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 have changed their habit activities in their spare
time
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. From my perspective,
this
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 tendency has the drawbacks outweigh the benefits and I will explain the reason in
this
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 essay. One of the most significant problems is that the arrival of the Internet allows
children
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 to have access to unlimited information and applications at any
time
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. It is natural for
children
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 to be curious, and they are not mature enough to distinguish the detrimental effects that
technology
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 devices
attack
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have on
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 them.
For instance
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, with the flash IT revolution moving forward, many game software were produced to serve entertainment needs. At a young age, they normally are attracted by social media and games so they are willing to
use
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spend
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 all their
time
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 on them which leads to many physical and mental health problems. Another disadvantage is that through
technology
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,
children
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could
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can
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 keep in touch with friends from everywhere so they do not have to go out to meet them face to face like they used to in the past but through video calls.
This
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 issue increases social isolation. Youngsters now are easily prone to the virtual world where friends can be AI and they use it as a place to hide from reality. Using it several times could bring some temporary comfort but in the long run, teenagers may no longer be aware of the boundary between real and virtual and they rely more on them.
Nevertheless
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, it has become an integral part of modern life.
To sum up
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,
technology
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 has harmfully changed
children
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's lives from outdoors to indoors.
In particular
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, most of their free
time
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 is spent on internet activities with electronic tools.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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