New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

Today is the era of advanced science and

technology

. In the

last

few years, it has grown rapidly and has brought significant impacts on all aspects of human life. Specifically,

children

have changed their habit activities in their spare

time

. From my perspective,

this

tendency has the drawbacks outweigh the benefits and I will explain the reason in

this

essay. One of the most significant problems is that the arrival of the Internet allows

children

to have access to unlimited information and applications at any

time

. It is natural for

children

to be curious, and they are not mature enough to distinguish the detrimental effects that

technology

devices

attack

Verb problem

have on

show examples

them.

For instance

, with the flash IT revolution moving forward, many game software were produced to serve entertainment needs. At a young age, they normally are attracted by social media and games so they are willing to

use

Verb problem

spend

show examples

all their

time

on them which leads to many physical and mental health problems. Another disadvantage is that through

technology

children

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

keep in touch with friends from everywhere so they do not have to go out to meet them face to face like they used to in the past but through video calls.

This

issue increases social isolation. Youngsters now are easily prone to the virtual world where friends can be AI and they use it as a place to hide from reality. Using it several times could bring some temporary comfort but in the long run, teenagers may no longer be aware of the boundary between real and virtual and they rely more on them.

Nevertheless

, it has become an integral part of modern life.

To sum up

technology

has harmfully changed

children

's lives from outdoors to indoors.

In particular

, most of their free

time

is spent on internet activities with electronic tools.

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Tue Jun 27 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. discuss both view and give your own opinion.