Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, every child has smartphones in their hand, and they waste their precious
time
Use synonyms
on these electronic devices. In my opinion, the probable reason for
this
Linking Words
cause is parents are careless
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it can have
devastating
Add an article
a devastating
show examples
impact on children’s health. To embark with, original
care-takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
are not paying attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their kids
while
Linking Words
they provide mobile
phones
Use synonyms
to them. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, both parents are employed and they are not able to barely provide
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their little ones. In turn,
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
staying at home are more depended and attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
as compared to genitor.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by The Columbia School in America in 2018 stated that 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of youngsters from each class are wasting their
time
Use synonyms
on these electronic gadgets
due to
Linking Words
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
carelessness.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
and mother
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to become more hyper-vigilant for their kid’s future. Health is one of the obvious
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
which can be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
while
Linking Words
using
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
. Rather than playing outside games
such
Linking Words
as football, basketball, and cricket, children would prefer to play video games on their cell
phones
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teenagers is spending around 5 to 6 hours daily
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching videos or playing games which ultimately results in low
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, children are becoming overweight because they are not doing any physical activity
such
Linking Words
as running walking and yoga. In conclusion, guardians must be more alert and pay more attention to their children so, kids are investing less
time
Use synonyms
on electronic devices. Spending more
time
Use synonyms
on
phones
Use synonyms
can impact their health in negative aspects.
Submitted by jashanpreetmann1515 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: