IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram given illustrates a linear process of making a paper and the stages are included in this process. Overall, it is clear that there are 9 main steps to produce a paper which can be organized into 3 stages. These include cutting down trees to transfer them, storing and processing them to manufacture papers, and finally producing papers to be consumed in different industries. The process commences with trees being chopped down. Then they are transformed by a lorry to the De-barking to be stored there. Following this, the trees are gone into a chipping machine to be chipped and prepared for the next step. Next, the chipped trees are gone into the mechanical pulping process, chemical pulping process, and hydra pulping. Then, they are cleaned and screened in order to go into a paper-making machine. Finally, it is ready to be consumed by consumers.

The diagram given illustrates a linear process of making a paper and the stages are included in this process. Overall, it is clear that there are 9 main steps to produce a paper which can be organized into 3 stages. These include cutting down trees to transfer them, storing and processing them to manufacture papers, and finally producing papers to be consumed in different industries. The process commences with trees being chopped down. Then they are transformed by a lorry to the De-barking to be stored there. Following this, the trees are gone into a chipping machine to be chipped and prepared for the next step. Next, the chipped trees are gone into the mechanical pulping process, chemical pulping process, and hydra pulping. Then, they are cleaned and screened in order to go into a paper-making machine. Finally, it is ready to be consumed by consumers.
The diagram given illustrates a linear
process
Use synonyms
 of making a paper and the stages are included in
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are 9 main steps to produce a paper which can be organized into 3 stages. These include cutting down
trees
Use synonyms
 to transfer them, storing and processing them to manufacture papers, and
finally
Linking Words
 producing papers to be consumed in different industries. The
process
Use synonyms
 commences with
trees
Use synonyms
 being chopped down.
Then
Linking Words
 they are transformed by a lorry to the De-barking where the raw product is stored there.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
trees
Use synonyms
 are gone into a chipping machine to be chipped and prepared for the next step.
Next,
Linking Words
the chipped
trees
Use synonyms
 are gone into the mechanical pulping
process
Use synonyms
, chemical pulping
process
Use synonyms
, and hydra pulping. As required, they are cleaned and screened in order to go into a paper-making machine.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is ready to be consumed by consumers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, trees with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: