Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #country #government #laws #food #matter #choice #responsibility

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Good health and a proper

diet

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are an important part of human

life

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. Certain societies believe the health of the communities of the nation should be maintained by the ruling authorities by

taking

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making

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strict decisions regarding healthy food. Another group of modernists claims that these things should be maintained by each individual on their own choice and plan. In my opinion, the rate of unhealthy people rising significantly, so it is the responsibility of the government to come up with better laws to promote good healthy

diet

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plans among people so that they can shift to healthy

life

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. To commence with, there are uncountable brands promoting unhealthy products as healthy, their products contain only fats and sugar, but in,marketing they claim these products have proteins and vitamins.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the community is

also

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not so smart to check what is healthy for a proper

diet

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as a

Linking Words

result

Add the comma(s)

result,

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the rate of the unhealthy population is rising. In

this

Linking Words

bad situation, the government first permanently ban all these campaigns and should come up with healthy

diet

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tracking applications which will give complete calorie intake for each individual

according to

Linking Words

their body mass index.

However

Linking Words

, it is an undeniable fact that each person's body reacts differently to different ranges of food, which is why good meals can be allergic or dangerous for them. So it is the responsibility, of society to look towards their daily

diet

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plan, that can actually help them to live a healthy

life

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. In a nutshell, each aspect has its pros and cons,

although

Linking Words

maintaining own

diet

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plan

according to

Linking Words

their body is important because

this

Linking Words

will protect an individual to save themselves from allergic food, I believe the responsibility of the government to launch

diet

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applications and promote healthy lifestyle campaigns will help thousands of individuals to start nutritious

life

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Submitted by gsmultani506 on Wed Jun 28 2023

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Task Response

The essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion. Task achievement is partially fulfilled as the essay lacks relevant specific examples to support the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more focused and engaging. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more cohesive devices and ensuring a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree ?

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter:  explain why you need this time off  give details of when you want this time off  say who can do your work when you are away

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?