Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #admission #people #museum

It is considered by

some

Correct your spelling

Some

show examples

that saving

money

is the key to the best life,

while

there are others who suppose that it is more important to spend

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

all that you want in the present. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss both views and agree with the former. On the one hand, many think it is better for most

people

to save

money

In other words

people

can plan for huge purposes, so they are secure about the future and improve their lives in the present.

People

buy a flat, it means that they can manage their priorities,

for example

, buy furniture, do makeovers, get pets and so on.

Moreover

, in the future, children inherit property, which will make life easier for them.

Finally

, in my opinion, saving

money

is a financial airbag. During the

crisis

Add a comma

,crisis

show examples

people

can spend their accumulations, rent out their apartment to earn

money

if they lose their other job and do not worry about becoming homeless.

On the other hand

, spending

money

for what you want and not keeping it is the best way to enjoy the moment in the present. New purposes can give

people

new emotions,

new

Correct word choice

and new

show examples

experiences and can give them confidence. Take

for example

a new phone, it can make you feel better, you can use new technologies and design.

In addition

, you need to pay

money

for education,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

self-development,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nutrient-rich food etc. In conclusion, saving

money

is the financial airbag, but spending

money

for all that you want is new emotions and experiences.

People

should decide what is more important for them, securing

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the future or enjoying the moment in the present.

Submitted by dulskywork on Wed Jun 28 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some believe that new science related to criminal forensics should be used to look at old cases. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argued that history is of little or no use. Others believe that studying history give many benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.