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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts belive that it is better if parents are giving the right to know everything about their child. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #belive #parents #right #child
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It is claimed by experts that
children
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 should let their
parents
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 understand everything about them.
Although
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 there are some benefits to
this
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 view, there are some drawbacks that overshadow the advantages.
This
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 essay will give two advantages about
this
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 problem,
children
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 seem to be uncomfortable and being attacked mental health ,
,
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apply
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however
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,however
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 there is
also
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 a belief that
parents
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 try to protect their child from bad
things
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. Analyzing the first question, when
parents
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 overcontrolled their
children
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, they may feel inconvenienced and annoyed. They even cannot follow their passion because their
parents
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 force them to follow what they have already chosen.
For instance
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, my best friend dreams to be a singer but his mother force him to major in the police because all members of his family are working for the government. The second reason is that
children
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 are affected by the control of their
parents
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 leading to mental health problems. They always hold the belief that their mother and father will not agree with them doing that thing or even choosing their friends. Day by day, it will affect their mental health and being stressful.
For example
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, a study shows that 50% of students have stress because their
parents
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 are extremely controlled.
On the other hand
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, the reason why
parents
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 want to know clearly about their
children
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 is that they must protect their
children
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 from bad
things
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.
Parents
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 have many experiences and they can discriminate between good
things
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 and detrimental
things
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, so
children
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 will not be affected by the drawbacks of society.
For example
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, my
parents
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 have to know my friends in order to contact them in the worst circumstance. In conclusion,
children
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 should let their
parents
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 sympathize with them, but not everything because each person must have the right to keep their privacy.
Submitted by phantung1306 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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