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Some experts belive that it is better if parents are giving the right to know everything about their child. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #belive #parents #right #child
It is claimed by experts that
children
 should let their
parents
 understand everything about them.
Although
 there are some benefits to
this
 view, there are some drawbacks that overshadow the advantages.
This
 essay will give two advantages about
this
 problem,
children
 seem to be uncomfortable and being attacked mental health ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there is
also
 a belief that
parents
 try to protect their child from bad
things
. Analyzing the first question, when
parents
 overcontrolled their
children
, they may feel inconvenienced and annoyed. They even cannot follow their passion because their
parents
 force them to follow what they have already chosen.
For instance
, my best friend dreams to be a singer but his mother force him to major in the police because all members of his family are working for the government. The second reason is that
children
 are affected by the control of their
parents
 leading to mental health problems. They always hold the belief that their mother and father will not agree with them doing that thing or even choosing their friends. Day by day, it will affect their mental health and being stressful.
For example
, a study shows that 50% of students have stress because their
parents
 are extremely controlled.
On the other hand
, the reason why
parents
 want to know clearly about their
children
 is that they must protect their
children
 from bad
things
.
Parents
 have many experiences and they can discriminate between good
things
 and detrimental
things
, so
children
 will not be affected by the drawbacks of society.
For example
, my
parents
 have to know my friends in order to contact them in the worst circumstance. In conclusion,
children
 should let their
parents
 sympathize with them, but not everything because each person must have the right to keep their privacy.
Submitted by phantung1306 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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