New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time

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Modernization in machines and the internet has rapidly gained the attention of adolescents

due to

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parents and guardians nowadays being trustworthy of technologies.

While

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there are several potential advantages to

this

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approach, I believe they are overshadowed by the drawbacks in the long term. It is positive that merits are an alternative to resolving juveniles’ demands for entertainment and education. Containing a kid-friendly environment that coordinates with useful informative studies as well.

For instance

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, in ,Vietnam there is a vast array of content in studying applications

such

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as k12 and Vietschool,

that is

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related to the curriculum of schools given.

In addition

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, expanding the territory for interactions and conversations internationally facilitates the minor to more socializing and to be updated with news occurring not within their vicinity.

On the other hand

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, demerits are an abundance and problematic

due to

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them being difficult to monitor

as well as

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to dispose of. Noticeably, focusing on a device

that is

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mainly virtual can cause illusory and inability to be in touch with reality if overused immensely.

Nonetheless

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, the blue lights emitting from screens over time can blind and force them to wear glasses,

also

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affecting a myriad of abilities. Some of the popular and regular disabilities are reducing the intake of information, causing obesity or malnourishment and many others that could be forever if taken lightly. In conclusion, it is compulsory for parents and guardians to hand over their mobile phones or computers in order for them to study

as well as

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to find joy on the Internet.

However

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, if not wary and avoid using too much can end up having a devastating even permanent result. In my opinion, it is crucial for parents and guardians to watch over their juveniles to create a balance and ethical use of technologies for the children.

Submitted by lkphandev on Wed Jun 28 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Cyberbullying
Sedentary lifestyle
Inappropriate content
Self-learning
Screen time
Social inequality
Enhanced communication
Creative expression
Educational resources

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