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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph provides information about the number of travellers who used three large airports in New York between 1995 and 2000.The number of people is measured in millions.

The graph provides information about the number of travellers who used three large airports in New York between 1995 and 2000.The number of people is measured in millions.
The graph provides information about the
number
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 of travellers who used three large airports in New York between 1995 and 2000.The
number
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 of people is measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 LaGuardia received
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 visitors every year except
1997
Change preposition
in 1997
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when John F Kennedy was in
first
Add an article
the first
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 place. The
number
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 of LaGuardia
passengers
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 gradually increased each year and by 2000 had reached almost 70
million
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passengers
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. From 1995 to 1998, Newark’s performance rose almost three-fold: starting
15
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at 15
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million
Use synonyms
ending
Correct word choice
and ending
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 with
approximetaly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 42
million
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 where it almost stabilized for the next 3 years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
passengers
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 John F Kennedy very fluctuates from 28
million
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 to 47
million
Use synonyms
.But still, it stabilized in 2000, thereby taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2nd place in terms of the
number
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 of
passengers
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 for the year among the top three airports.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, passengers, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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