IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long time)? List some examples and reasons to support your answer.

#factors #longevity #time #list #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
What is the secret of living a long
life
Use synonyms
? The answer to
this
Linking Words
 question interests many people. There are many factors that impact on
this
Linking Words
. Unfortunately, some of them are out of our hands.
For instance
Linking Words
, genetics, accidents and so on. But there are factors which depend on ourselves: diet, physical activities, psychological state, lifestyle and so forth. Studies show that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these factors play a big role when it comes to longevity. Secrets of long living might be different in various countries.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan ,where the average age is 83, one of the secrets is consuming healthy food. The Japanese eat lots of tofu ,rice , seafood , plenty of fruit and vegetables.
Also
Linking Words
, social activities are an important part of their lives which prevent stress.
Life
Use synonyms
 expectancy in Spain is 82 years. The major secret to longevity is a Mediterranean diet with lots of olive oil, vegetables and wine. It is only two examples of many countries in which people have a long healthy
life
Use synonyms
. Each country has dietary habits and a balanced lifestyle which leads to prolonged
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, if you want to live a long
life
Use synonyms
, you need to have a balanced diet
as well as
Linking Words
 an active social
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by a.fahradova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: