IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media? Anel

Some people have the chance to vent their complaints publicly because social media has made it easier for them.
This
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 essay will discuss that anyone consequence of
this
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 is the easy spread of negativity,
while
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 a certain benefit of
this
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 trend is that people can publicly discuss problems and frustrations. One of the primary consequences of easily expressing bad emotions, one of which is frustration, is promoting pessimism and negativity.
That is
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 to say, a large amount of spread discouraging can lead to toxic behaviour among users on social networking sites.
In addition
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, if a person says many time unpleasant opinions about other individuals, he or she can feel dissatisfied in the future as that person can be associated with bad things.
For example
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, psychologists of behaviour at Harvard University estimated that many individuals, who are fostering negative sentiments, in 90% can have displeasure with their lives. But despite
this
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 issue, there is the main benefit that can almost outweigh the problem and it is a profit of discussion publicly. To be more precise,
this
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 gain can lead companies to know about their disadvantages, and for that reason, the great majority of company employees can improve the quality of products and develop new ideas to tackle the problem successfully which helps the discontented viewers.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the provided statistics by Kaspi Company, they have implemented improvements from 30% to 70% sales per year with the help of individuals who expressed their disapproval. In conclusion, expressing complaints can lead to widespread negativity on websites, but it
also
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 provides the benefit of allowing public discussion of important issues in the area or even the world.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify the introduction to clearly state both the consequence and benefit in a more structured way. This enhances clarity and sets a stronger stage for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are clearly linked and explore the ideas in depth. Expand on your points to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid ambiguous phrases. For example, clarify what you mean by 'profit of discussion;' using more specific terminology can improve clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. This will improve the overall richness of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both consequences and benefits of expressing complaints on social media, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which help to illustrate your points better, showing your connection to the topic.
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