Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The part of individuals
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that social platforms interrupt keeping attentiveness.
However
, others believe social networking
also
has some beneficial aspects. I completely agree with
this
statement,
due to
the fact that it has some strong arguments which have a negative effect on society.
This
essay will deliberate perspectives and disagreements on
this
topic, adding my personal point of view. First of all, in the modern world,
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
technologies like smartphones or laptops is inevitable.
Moreover
, sitting on social
media
servers Instagram, Twitter and TikTok is one of the essential activities of humans.
However
, people just spend time and scroll the reels until they are tired or mentally overloaded.
As a result
, they cannot concentrate on doing anything.
For instance
, messages from Instagram might suspend the activity of workers and they can unconsciously spend much time.
Secondly
, there are several reasons why social
media
affect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negatively from young to old people. Nowadays, parents interact with their babies through platforms like TikTok.
Subsequently
, children cannot keep attention on particular things, because they are used to scrolling
Change preposition
through videos
show examples
videos
Change preposition
through videos
show examples
and cannot do any other activity.
Moreover
, year by year more and more old individuals cannot
keep
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention to work.
This
is a result of social
media
which might increase the risk of depression and anxiety. Doctors argue that it is harmful to the brain, especially for the
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
and old. In conclusion, it completely believes that social
media
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
attention span because people after using it become tired and mentally overloaded
Submitted by g.ulugbek14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement and fails to address the task properly. It should present a balanced argument and provide adequate support for the position taken.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence in presenting ideas. The introduction and conclusion are unclear and the main points are not effectively developed. The essay lacks a clear flow of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay displays a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in the use of academic language. There is also a lack of appropriate linking words and phrases.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structure. There are issues with tense usage and subject-verb agreement.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: