Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views!

Computer
games
were developed many decades ago, and
people
of all ages are interested in different
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
. Certain
people
believe that playing them has drawbacks for youngsters in terms of well-being and social life skills.
However
, some
people
say, it will benefit kids in the future.
This
essay will discuss both views, and I believe children need to be monitored by their parents
while
playing it.
To begin
with, one of the reasons is that playing
games
too much can cause a lack of physical activity for young
people
.
Instead
of going outside or doing some sports, they tend to spend hours sitting on the couch and eating snacks
while
playing it, not just becoming addicted to
this
activity but
also
promoting a sedentary life.
Consequently
, some of them might have trouble with their body,
such
as eyesight problems or obesity.
Furthermore
, regarding social skills,
this
kind of activity
also
has an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
effect.
For example
, children who never spend time with their peers in real life become introverts and have communication issues. It might have a disadvantageous impact on their future, especially in studying and finding a job. Despite the adverse effects, some
people
believe certain
games
can boost memory, enhance creativity and create cognitive flexibility for the little ones. One is drawing
games
, which help them recognize shapes,
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
, or patterns and strengthen their memory and creativity skills.
Moreover
, another game, a puzzle, exposes kids to different problem-solving strategies, encouraging them to think flexibly and adapt their approach when faced with new challenges. In conclusion, sitting on a device for hours on end is definitely not a healthy way to spend leisure time.
However
, with supervision, children who play computer
games
wisely have beneficial impacts that will help them in their adult lives.
Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear distinction between your views and the discussion of both perspectives. Your position should be evident throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to include more varied sentence structures and transitions to further improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Adding real-life examples or citing studies could strengthen your argument and provide more depth to your discussion on the impact of computer games.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've effectively introduced and concluded the essay, presenting your stance clearly.
Task Achievement
Your discussion covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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