IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people state arts courses such painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #courses #school #students
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Art
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 lessons like painting and drawing are part of the pensum in high school but some believe it must not be given. In my opinion,
art
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 is one of the most valuable classes that students can take
due to
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 its special features and characteristics that enhance communication skills.
Firstly
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,
although
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 drawing is not easy and not everyone manages to perform it in a professional way, it is essential to have introductory training in the matter in order to allow students to decide if it is one of their big abilities or not,
as well as
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, to make them understand the roots and history of
such
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 an important part of the humanity.
For instance
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, people who don't have the ability to draw could become drawing lovers because they are able to understand how hard it is and what can it portray.
Besides
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 that, even though a student doesn't develop the necessary skills to paint the Mona Lisa, trying to do it could help him to improve his fine motriced which will help him in other activities.
On the other hand
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, with proper guidance, he could become the new Miguel Angelo. I think
art
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 is as important as math, students don't need to be engineers to understand why numbers are a thing to consider.
To conclude
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, I think
art
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 must be and keep there in the high school curriculum forever. It is paramount to the academic community to understand how
art
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 influenced the history of humanity.
Furthermore
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, by practising it we could develop skills in other learning fields and why not perhaps find the new
art
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 star?
Submitted by otiyog on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are clearly and fully developed in each paragraph to enhance the readability and strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical connections between your ideas. Ensure that transition words and phrases are used effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Develop each of your arguments more fully to provide a complete response to the prompt. This includes providing more detailed examples where appropriate.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by avoiding any ambiguous language. This will help make your argument more comprehensible and convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
task achievement
The author provides relevant examples to support their points, which helps to make the argument more convincing.
task achievement
The essay succeeds in addressing the prompt and articulating a position on the issue of art education in high school.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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