IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.

The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.
#money #budget #sectors #uae #government
The pie chart illustrates information about how UAE authorities spent the public
budget
 in ten sectors in a specific year.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 social security received the highest percentage of expenditure from
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
budget
 ,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport was the lowest percentage of expenditure. Looking at the chart in more detail, the highest proportion of
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
budget
 was allocated for social security at 100
billion
 AED and followed by health and personal social services was 53 AED
billion
. The third sector was education at 38
billion
 AED ,and both of
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 expenditures and debt interest was have the same value funding at 23
billion
 AED. The fifth sector was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
defence at 22
billion
 ADE. Regarding
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 sectors, the value of funding from
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
budget
 for law and order and housing, heritage , and
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 was 17 and 15
billion
 AED , respectively. The industry, agriculture and employment and transport
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the lowest
secors
Correct your spelling
sectors
scores
 received funds
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
13 and 9
billion
 AED , respectively.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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