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Band 5.5

Some people it is good to share as much information as possible in sceintific research,business and academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #information #sceintific #research #business #world
Information
 is power. Being well-informed allows you to make decisions with careful consideration. If
this
 is in regard to investments, technology or any other aspect, it will allow you to excel in life.
Information
, or knowledge, should be widely available for the betterment of society as a whole.
People
 are different. Some
people
 are good at art, some good at science. The marriage between the two gives rise to amazing ideas. By sharing
information
, it allows
people
 to use their strengths to develop
further
. My father is an architect and my mother an artist - together they created the most unique home for us to live in growing up. The use of mathematics and science in angles and position of the sun
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 allowed my father the create a building which utilised nature to enhance its efficiency. The study of the colour wheel and mixed materials allowed my mother to turn that building into a home, by adding our personality to the house itself.
This
 could only have been possible by sharing
information
, allowing the two of them to utilise their power. In some situations, sharing
information
 can be dangerous. The knowledge of the process to produce weapons has only led to destruction. When the gun was first invented, it was assumed to be a weapon for safety; but the safety of one is the harm of another. The knowledge of the gun spread far and wide, causing the development of the technology for weapons and ultimately wiping away peace.
Information
 can be used for good and for bad. The fault is not of the
information
 but of
people
 utilising it. I personally believe that
information
 should be shared. It is the only way that mankind can progress and become advanced. It is a shame that some
people
 use the
information
 for bad
however
, we should not hide behind fear,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 we should trust in the goodness of
people
 to take us
further
.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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