IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely argued that it is imperative for a
country
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 to manufacture and provide
food
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 to its
people
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 and buy as minimum
products
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 related to
food
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 as possible. In my view, I strongly agree with
this
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 point of view, since
food
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 is considered a source of living and reduces the
dependency
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 on brand
products
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To begin
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 with, feeding
people
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 is the responsibility of a
country
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 to fulfil by providing amenities
such
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 as
food
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 and water.
This
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 is because a nation cannot run smoothly without the contribution of its
people
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, so it is imperative for state authority to give
food
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 items on a low budget so that every individual can have access to buy
country
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products
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for instance
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 if a
country
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 needs to maintain its ability and peace,
then
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 it is necessary for the nation to provide and fulfil resources in order to live peacefully.
while
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 it is true that third-world countries are not in a position to provide enough
food
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 for their
people
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,
this
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 problem can be solved if the
country
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 reduces its
dependency
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 on brand
products
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conversely
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, when
people
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 start to use their own local
products
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 rather than international brands may reduce their
dependency
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. A key point to notice is that when authorities prefer to indulge their
people
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 in consuming national resources,
then
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people
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 may differ in the idea of relying too much on brand foods. there are countries,
for example
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, that banned the foods and
products
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 imported from other countries
thus
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, it is necessary for authorities to maintain the proper balance
To conclude
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, even though nations have the responsibility to feed their children and adults as it is necessary for living and should limit importing
food
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, I believe that the urge to reduce the
dependency
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 on international
products
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 can only be limited unless the government provide subsidies in order to buy their own national items

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically into the next. Adding transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs can improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Be careful with sentence structure and punctuation. Ensure your sentences are complete and properly punctuated to enhance clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets a strong foundation for the essay. You've laid out your argument effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position, providing a cohesive ending to your essay.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt well and provided a strong response to the task by discussing the importance of national food production and reducing dependency on imports.
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