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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates differences in temperature zones in Tropical and Temperate mountains.

The diagram illustrates differences in temperature zones in Tropical and Temperate mountains.
The diagram illustrates differences in temperature
zones
Use synonyms
 in Tropical and Temperate mountains.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Tropical
mountain
Use synonyms
 is higher than the Temperate mountains.
However
Linking Words
, the Temperate
mountain
Use synonyms
 just has four
zones
Use synonyms
 including Permanent, Alpine meadows, Forest and Cool
zone
Use synonyms
 meanwhile the Tropical
mountain
Use synonyms
 has more two
zones
Use synonyms
 namely
Temperate
Correct article usage
the Temperate
show examples
zone
Use synonyms
 and Warm
zone
Use synonyms
. Regarding the Tropical
mountain
Use synonyms
, the lowest part is the Warm
zone
Use synonyms
 which is suitable for many tropical crops at more than 500
meters
Use synonyms
 (2,000
ft
Use synonyms
). At an
altitude
Use synonyms
 from more than 1000 to just under 2,000
meters
Use synonyms
 (2,000 to 6,000
ft
Use synonyms
)
this
Linking Words
 is
Temperate
Correct article usage
a Temperate
show examples
zone
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 only suitable for coffee and
cocos
Correct your spelling
cocoa
show examples
plantation
Fix the agreement mistake
plantations
show examples
. The next
zone
Use synonyms
 is the Cool
zone
Use synonyms
, the grain can be developed in
this
Linking Words
zone
Use synonyms
 from less than 2000 (6000
ft
Use synonyms
) to 3000
meters
Use synonyms
 (10,000
ft
Use synonyms
). The area above
this
Linking Words
 one is
forest
Correct article usage
a forest
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the limit for broadleaf trees is an
altitude
Use synonyms
 of 3000
meters
Use synonyms
 (10,000
ft
Use synonyms
) pine and firs can survive at under 4,000
meters
Use synonyms
 (13,000
ft
Use synonyms
) high. Alpine meadows and the permanent snow area are at the tops of these mountains with the snow line at under 4,000
meters
Use synonyms
 (15,000
ft
Use synonyms
).
According to
Linking Words
 the Temperate
Use synonyms
mountain
Correct your spelling
Mountain
show examples
, there are four
zones
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
altitude
Use synonyms
 in the cool
zone
Use synonyms
 is about less than 5,000
ft
Use synonyms
 (1,500
meters
Use synonyms
), which is a
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 for grains, potatoes and flax.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the forest is between the limit for broad-leaf trees and spruce at under 5,000 and 6,000 feet (about 1,500 and 2,000
meters
Use synonyms
), respectively. The
altitude
Use synonyms
 in the alpine meadows in Temperate
Use synonyms
mountain
Correct your spelling
Mountain
show examples
 is lower than
Tropical
Change preposition
in Tropical
show examples
Use synonyms
mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the permanent snow fell from 9,000 to 12,000
ft
Use synonyms
 ( under 3,000 and 4,000
meters
Use synonyms
).

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words zones, mountain, zone, meters, ft, altitude with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "differences" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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