There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

Academic education plays an essential role in

people

’s lives today. Young

people

are forced culturally to pursue their education in well-known universities which puts massive pressure on them.

Thus

, some

people

think that non-academic

subjects

should not be learned in schools to offer more time to concentrate on academic

subjects

. In

this

essay, I will make it clear that these

subjects

are important for children and adolescents and should not be removed. On the one hand, learning non-academic

subjects

;

for example

, physical education, cookery, music and arts does relieve the student’s stress levels. To illustrate

this

, a study at Cambridge University showed that those

subjects

have been proven to have a positive effect on student’s mental health, they can decrease the incidence of depression and anxiety disorders among them. As

people

are healthier, their goals can be achieved easier which will make them happier and more satisfied eventually.

On the other hand

, some

people

will find their passion in cooking, sports or arts during these lessons,

while

others may have a great talent that can be discovered by coincidence which could change their whole road in life and give them the opportunity to shine in a non-academic field. Not to forget, many celebrities were discovered unintentionally in these lessons. In conclusion,

although

there is still pressure on humans to enrol in academic fields at universities, I believe in the importance of learning non-academic fields during school studies because of their significant impact on students' character and mental health.

Moreover

, everyone does have the right to explore many fields and find what is suitable for them

instead

of following others blindly without a destination.

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

Freedom of speech is necessary in a free society. Agree or Disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

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More and more businesses as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than face to face. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communicating.