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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
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Nowadays, advertisements
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become an integral part of successful marketing strategies to pursue many consumers to purchase objects . Some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is the best way to promote their goods ,
products
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 and services .
However
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, many
people
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 believe that
this
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 approach is negligible and that no one
care
Change the verb form
cares
show examples
 about it .
While
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 others, myself included, insist that it is a powerful tool to convince community members to buy certain
products
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 . In
this
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 essay , both viewpoints will be discussed below . On the one hand, many
people
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 claim that ads
is
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are
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 not an effective way to increase consumers.
Firstly
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, most shoppers see that it is boring to
exposure
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expose
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 to advertisements objects everywhere in TV
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
 and apps .
Consequently
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 ,they will consider these are untrusted and tend to change tv channels when they erupt .
Secondly
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, most clients have a negative
alttitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
altitude
 towards advertising as they think advertisers want to promote
for
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apply
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their commodities without considering the
consumers
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consumer's
consumers'
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 real needs
as well as
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 it does not meet the actual quality
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 announce for .
For example
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 ,
products
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 of hair loss prevention are now of no
credits
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credit
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dur
Correct your spelling
due
 to previous poor quality
products
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 in
this
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 field .
On the other hand
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 , there are those who subscribe to the view that advertising is a common instrument in the marketing world .
The
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With the
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 widespread of adverting
products
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people
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 will be able to know every new
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products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
 and can even compare
between
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apply
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their ingredients to differentiate which is the best for them .
For example
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 , skincare
products
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 are variable and by
these
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this approach
these approaches
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approach
Add a comma
,approach
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 they can choose what it
is suit
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suits
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 their skin .
Furthermore
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 , advertising
make
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makes
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 marketing more competitive ,more precisely ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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price levels and increase the population welfare . In conclusion , it is undoubtedly that some
people
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 try to get away
of
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from
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 advertisements in order to take the right decision without any external interference. I strongly believe that these promotions
an
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are an
show examples
 efficient means to help many individuals find their potential needs .
Finally
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 , family members should be aware of the merits and drawbacks of each commercial's
products
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 .
Submitted by dent.hussain97 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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