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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. DO the advanatges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #advanatges #outweigh
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Many
children
Use synonyms
 of immigrants tend to be bilingual. Certain professionals think
children
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 should learn foreign
languages
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 at a younger age, rather than at high
school
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. Learning different French or German at
such
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 a young age helps their brains develop
as well as
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 provides a new lifelong skill, but it can take away from their playtime. Is
this
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 worth it?
Children
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 learn a variety of subjects in primary
school
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,
for example
Linking Words
, English, Maths and Science. These provide a baseline for
children
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 to develop throughout their academic career and so are heavily focused upon. Other subjects
such
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 as humanities and
languages
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 are not taught as strictly,
however
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, there are many advantages in doing so, namely, the development of the brain. It is common knowledge that learning a new language develops the
neurones
Correct your spelling
neurons
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 from one side of the brain to another, which strengthens the brain's neural network. Learning
languages
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 adds to the subjects
children
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 are made to learn at primary
school
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. They are already subjected to hours of classwork and homework when learning the core topics - adding another to the roster may cause burnout. Students of
this
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 age require playtime to rejuvenate themselves and to keep fit. Playing games like catch helps them develop hand-eye coordination, tag helps them develop running skills and team games allow them to learn communication skills.
This
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 is
also
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 vital for child development. In my view, I believe primary
school
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 students should have the opportunity to learn new
languages
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. As I first stated, many immigrant families are bilingual which shows it is a possibility for other
children
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;
therefore
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 the advantages of developing a lifelong skill outweigh any disadvantages
such
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 as burnout.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the task, but some aspects of the question are not fully developed or supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the organization of ideas could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate, but there is a need for more varied and precise language to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range is sufficient, but more complex sentence structures and grammatical accuracy would strengthen the overall quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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