IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #children
As an effect of industrialization, modern technology changed and improved people's lifestyles.
Television
 has become a different form of entertainment for young people.
Also
, it is an important way to get new information quickly.
However
, the new technology will raise some new questions. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I agree with
this
 statement and elaborate on the details to support my argument. On the one hand, the electrical entertainment industry is mature enough that different shows have different themes. they know what's popular with young people, and kids can easily get their kicks from
television
. it's a safe and cheap way to entertain. No injuries on the outside and no need for parents to worry about their safety.
On the other hand
, sometimes
television
 performance is for adults only. if parents ignore
this
,
children
 may get some bad information from
television
. and sometimes will wound their mentality, for ,example sexual precocity and juvenile delinquent, parents and government need more care and laws to protect
children
 and avoid harmful information. In conclusion,
television
 is good for
children
. they can get entertainment and new knowledge from different
television
 channels, but all TV programs need more overwatch and laws to protect
children
's right
Submitted by follzen1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: