In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion?

The convenience of fast
food
to consume and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
affordable prices have
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to the rise of patients diagnosed with
health
issues
due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
fast
food
consumption rate in some countries.
Although
if
this
is not stopped there will be a surge of patients with
health
problems
due to
overconsumption of fast
food
, I do not agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
altering the tax rate for fast
food
as a solution for
this
condition. To outline the problem, the main factor that
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to the
health
issues caused by fast
food
is
due to
the overconsumption and lack of self-restraint of some people. Usually, many of them overconsume because they like the taste as the
food
is usually loaded with salt and sugar.
This
will lead to an unbalanced nutrition intake
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for sodium and sugar which causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
issues if consumed without proper portioning.
On the other hand
, the distinctive aspect of fast
food
is its affordable price which
also
enables someone to buy the
food
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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large
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
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.
Although
this
is
also
why many less affluent
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
will rely on fast
food
as their main source of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
other than cheap canned goods.
Hence
, the main reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
altering the tax for fast
food
. Anyone who eats fast
food
just because they like the taste will still keep buying them for any price given
while
some poor families will suffer as their main source of
food
will be too expensive for them to afford.
To conclude
, just because some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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of people are not able to control their appetite for fast
food
does not mean that it can simply be solved by
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
the taxes. Fast
food
does not just cater to those who like the taste but
also
to the poor family who only can afford them other than getting
source
Add an article
the source
a source
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of
food
from canned meals.
This
shows how there is a need for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments to come up with other solutions on controlling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
consumption so that everyone can eat fast
food
in moderation.
Submitted by febrinhidayat on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive consumption
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart diseases
  • governmental intervention
  • discourage consumption
  • healthcare costs
  • reinvestment
  • public health programs
  • lower-income families
  • affordable meal option
  • government overreach
  • public awareness campaigns
  • healthy eating
  • subsidizing
  • stricter food quality standards
  • multifaceted approach
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